How was the game son? Great dad. I played well. Did you win? Well, they don't keep score. Why don't they keep score dad? Yes, that's right. I forgot about that.
They don't keep score because they want to protect the self esteem of the players on the losing side. When you lose you don't feel good do you? No, I feel bad when we lose. But dad, the Toronto Maple Leafs keep score. The players must feel really bad all the time. That's funny son. Yes, they keep score. They aren't children so they don't need to protect their self esteem. Is it good that we don't keep score. No son, it's bad.
They want to protect your self esteem. In other words, they want your self esteem to develop and grow. But they misunderstand how self esteem develops. A positive self esteem comes from accomplishment. When you can look in the mirror and say "I did a good job" you are developing positive self esteem. If you know you didn't do a good job but someone tells you that you did your self esteem doesn't grow. You know they aren't being truthful but simply want you to feel better.
When you win; rejoice, but also ask yourself what you did well and what could use improvement. When you lose, ask yourself why you lost. Try to correct it. True self esteem will come when you beat the team that beat you. This is accomplishment. You improved yourself and the proof is that you beat the team that could once beat you.
By not keeping score the league is robbing you of this process. But do you know what the dirty little secret is son? No dad. The kids are keeping score in their heads. I bet you know what the score was don't you son. Yes dad. We won 3 -2. Atta' boy son. Thanks dad.
That's a lesson for you. Accomplishment and overcoming obstacles will make you a better person.
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ReplyDeletecoping with your own failures an athlete through your child? loser
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I remember the words of an elementary teacher many years ago to the effect that she could try to minimize the differences among her students, but the students themselves knew very well who was better at what. All the self-esteem exercises in the world wouldn't blind Alan to the fact that Gladys was a better reader, etc. And another teacher commented that she could try every self-esteem exercise going among her Grade 1's, but the real thing came with accomplishment. When a chid really 'caught' reading, that was real self esteem.
ReplyDeleteNeo Conservative said...
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coping with your own failures an athlete through your child? loser
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coping with your own failures by posting under someone elses pseudonym. Loser would be well down the list of how I would describe it.